Breaking News: Rob Ford Sex Tape Surfaced

Just kidding. Thankfully a video of Rob Ford doing the nasty has not surfaced because I would probably watch it and spend years wishing for the power to undo seeing such a horrible thing (being too cowardly to claw out my own eyes). Also, I don’t think our great nation could weather such a thing. Get your wallet out USA–Canadian provinces for sale.

The truth is I really can’t think of anything to write for today’s blog. More accurately, I’m just feeling lazy and can’t be bothered. Either way, I’m lame. But I’m also Canadian and we have Toronto mayor-turned-confessed-crack-cocaine user Rob Ford, who is totally rich fodder for a lazy blog post.

Mayor Ford Quotes:

  1. I don’t understand a transgender. I don’t understand, is it a guy dressed up like a girl or a girl dressed up like a guy?”pricella

2. “It’s hard to hide 300 pounds of fun.”

ford3. “Yes, I have smoked crack cocaine. But do I? Am I an addict? No. Have I tried it? Probably in one of my drunken stupors, probably approximately about a year ago.”

index4. “What does OxyContin go for on the street, so I have an idea?”

oxy5.”I’m sick of you people, you’re nothing but a pack of fickle mush heads.”***

quimby-horny-650x3726.”I’d love to see us sell the zoo and make money on it if we can. … Keep the elephants here and take it from there.”

giraffe“Bunch of maggots… Sorry, maybe I shouldn’t have said that.”

ford-radioThanks Rob Ford for letting me be a lazy blogger!

*Actually Mayor Quimby quote, but you believed . . .
** Just saying–aren’t we all horny and frightened? Don’t be ashamed.

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