How to Lose Your Winter Weight in Four Easy Steps

Winter weight gain is common problem among those us who have to live through a soul sucking winter. It’s inevitable that a crap load of few pounds crept onto our frames over the winter. Not to worry. Thain in Vain is here to help you shed those few pounds!

Step 1 – Research

There are a shit ton of diets and weight loss gimmicks out there. It’s important that you do research before you start any program. Be sure that the program you choose is geared towards your particular weight issue. A quick Google search is a great way to find what you need.

google

 

Step 2 – Choosing a program

Before choosing a program, it’s time to get real about you. Take the following quiz to find out the kind of weight loss loser you are.

1) Do you like thinking about doing hard stuff rather than doing it? Yes or no.

2) Do you rarely follow through with stuff? Yes or no.

4) Do you start things with gusto only to lose interest in a couple of weeks? Yes or no.

If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, then you should probably select a cheap, easy program such as eating less crap and sitting less on your couch-nest.

If you answered no to one or more of these questions, you are better than most of us and will successfully lose the weight and probably get in super awesome shape. FU.

Step 3 – Staying Motivated

It’s hard to keep motivated. Sure support from like-minded folks is great, but all that “you’re doing great” and “keep going” can really wear on a person’s nerves. Here’s some tips for staying motivated on your own:

  • Exercise while watching TLC shows about obese people. Seeing those big, fat people lolling around in their massive, filthy beds will certainly get you through many squats and lunges.
  • Post a picture of what you would like to look like on your fridge. Chances are high that you will not get there, but it’s good to have goals.
  • Treat yourself! Once you’ve lost a couple of pounds, be sure to reward yourself. Perhaps it’s a new outfit or a decadent dessert or maybe it’s two bottles of wine and a bag of chips.

Step 4 – Keeping Busy

It’s important that you keep yourself busy during your weight loss journey. If you corndogare use to sitting on the couch, mindlessly eating and drinking, then you may want to consider doing something different. Taking up a new hobby is exciting and will do wonders with your self-esteem! You could learn to knit or juggle; take up photography or the ukulele; learn a new software program such as Photoshop and add funny captions to pictures you find on the internet.

I hope these tips help you drop those few pesky pounds hanging off you body like a sack of sadness.

Good luck,

Thain in Vain

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